Give Me Something

Hello Bloggers!


Hmmm. I am terrible at blogging. I realized today that I haven't been blogging. But I haven't been running either. I am living in shame of you guys! Nah. I am just kidding. I am just...working through my running right now. Don't worry everyone. I don't give up on goals. Sometimes you have to adjust your goals, but that doesn't mean that I am going to give up. So hang in there with me. Cause if you have the patience to hang in there with me and put up with all my antics, then I know that you will glad that you did. So hang in there with me readers!!


So, as you all know, my biggest motivation is my grandfather. There are some days where I just feel sad, or peaceful, or reserved. And sometimes it takes me a minute to figure out why. I am programmed to take an emotional hit, grieve for a few days, then get up and move on. It's something that I have to do. I push that panic of depression and grief away and I live my life. But there are some days where I just can't do that. Every time I touch my violin. Every time I drive his car. Every time I see an old man with his granddaughter. I have grandparent envy! I really do. I carry this around with me always, but I don't share it. 


So, yesterday, the new O.A.R album was released. FYI all you west coasters/O.A.R newbs: O.A.R. is the best band ever. Period. No argument. And they scarily know my life. Well, tonight, a friend pointed out that one of the bonus tracks is about the main artist losing his grandfather. It's a perfect song. Half of it is instrumental, which I love (being a violinist, I tend to focus more on the music than the lyrics), but then the lyrics say exactly what I have been feeling and carrying around with me since the morning I woke up and knew Nonno was gone. I knew before my mom even called me, and I was 2,000 miles away. This song pretty much says it all. Though it makes me sad, I love being able to hear what I feel. If that makes any sense. But pretty much, I love O.A.R. and sometimes, music is what saves me. And I will always love my Nonno. I will carry the happiness I had with him around with me everywhere. But I will also carry the sadness of losing him.


 Grief doesn't go away just because a person stops talking about it. Sometimes I wonder if people can see it in my eyes. I feel like I carry so much loss with me, and I wonder if anyone can see. And then I realize...it doesn't matter. It's like what Albus Dumbledore says, "Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, especially those who live without love". It's true. But anyways. I thought I would share this song. I am going to post it in my favorite music section. If I can figure it out. 


Summer is almost over. And then it is back to Utah. Back to cold. I am going to cling to this miserable humidity as long as possible. Haha.


Lesson #5: Always hang on to the good. Even when you are sinking in the abyss of depression, count all the little good things that happen in one day and add them all together until you can see happiness in the world again. 


Happy Running! 

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live!

Hello Bloggers!


Running starts back up this week. I think I am gonna be alright. I was thinking of setting my marathon goal for April. There is a marathon out in Utah that I can run, so I think I am going to start with that and go from there!


Alright, so I realized that I never talked about the Harry Potter premiere! It was amazing. Me, my sister, and my best friend all dressed up and went together. It was amazing. My sister dressed up as Luna Lovegood (sometimes it is scary how alike they are), my best friend dressed up as Waldo (and she had a wand, so I think she really threw some people off their game that night haha), and I dressed up as Lilly Potter (Harry and Ginny's daughter). I have red hair and harry potter glasses...I felt it was appropriate.

Me, Carlie, and Katie

Me and Katie


We had way too much fun. Now please take note of my shoes! I bought myself glittery toms. Yes, I know. For those who know me and my admimate determination to never buy a pair of toms well...I caved. Haha. I now own not one, not two, but three pairs of toms. I am a shoe addict, just by the way. I am on the hunt for a fourth pair of times, but they are sold out everywhere in my size, so I am still on the hunt. No worries. I have all the patience in the world when it comes to buying a pair of shoes. So here are pictures of my three new toms that I own. I really gotta stop buying shoes. Haha. But they make me so happy! Plus, my best friend Camie wanted to me put pictures of them up on my blog so she could judge them, and I obediently listened! Speaking of Camie...SHE IS COMING TO VISIT ME! I am so excited. She is coming here to Atlanta, which is amazing. We are going to have the best week ever. And then after she leaves, it's time for me to pack up my bags and join her back out at school. It's been a crazy and pretty crappy summer, so I am looking forward to going back. But I am going to miss my family and the support they provide. And trees. I really miss the trees while I am at school. 


Well bloggers, I think I have said enough. I hope you are having a fantastic Sunday. Here is lesson #4: true friends are always there for you. Simple as that. Don't fret about the friends you've lost....dwell on the friends you have gained. 


Happy Running!

When you fail, try try again

Hello Bloggers!


It has been 2 whole weeks since I last ran. I think I am going to attempt a short run tomorrow. The last asthma attack I had left me really sick for over a week, and now I am just scared to run. Unfortunately, I think I am going to have to withdraw from the marathon this October. BUT! I am not giving up. It's just not enough time for me to train and do well. I have an asthma condition. I didn't develop it until I was 18. It hasn't even been 2 years since my first attack! I am still trying to get used to it and get it under control. See how bad it actually is. I am going back to the specialist to get help and figure out what I can do. 


I find myself missing running, but my fear is winning today. It is scary not being able to breathe, and it is scary when it takes days for my lungs to feel better. This week, I am just trying to figure out if it is worth making me sick. So tomorrow I am going to go for a short run and see what happens. Right now, my goal is a half marathon. I think that's more realistic for now. And come on bloggers, I have plenty of time in my life to train for a marathon. The point of this challenge was to give me something to do, a goal to work towards. And it has accomplished that. Now I need to be realistic. 


Last week, I had the opportunity to spend a lot of one on one time with my grandmother. She is one tough lady, and one of my most favorite people in my life. She has such a kind and gentle soul. With her in the house, everything was alright. She told me many stories of my grandfather. She misses him, as do I. I sometimes wonder what he would tell me to do about this marathon. I think he would tell me to try. To not give up, but to be smart. This is similar advice that my daddy gave me. The problem is my pride. I have lots of it. But my dad is right. I can't push myself to do something if I am not ready. If I am not healthy enough. So my pride has to be pushed aside, and my dad gets a point. I figured he could use a shout out on my blog, since all he has been is a support during this whole adventure. And I know he will continue to be, as long as I do it in a smart and healthy way. 


Bloggers, don't ever give up on what you want to do. Trust me, I know life can be hard. This summer has been really hard for me. There have been trials, tears, injuries, and disappointment. But I have to keep moving on. Go for a run, take a yoga class, go for a walk. Find something that makes you happy and gives you inner peace. Hang in there bloggers!


Happy running! 

Day Whatever and He Who Shall Not Be Named

Hello Bloggers!


Well...the worst thing has happened. I had a MASSIVE asthma attack last week. It was my second one in a week, and the worst I have ever had. So I am out of commission this week. I can't stop coughing/wheezing. So I gotta get that under control. 


There are only a few things getting me through this crap of a situation:
1. In 2 days, it is the final showdown against He Who Shall Not Be Named. I am so excited (said in the same sing song voice that Rachel just used. Yes, we are skyping as I type this)
2. I have awesome Harry Potter glasses that I am going to wear, complete with my wand that I procured from Harry Potter World this summer.

Aren't they amazing?

3. I just found out that my best friend Camie is coming to see me in August. So excited!!!!!

5. I jail broke my phone to be harry potter themed so it says "Alohomora" to unlock it and "Mischief Managed" to lock it. It is Harry Potter obsession week. Back off.

4. I have chocolate covered pretzels downstairs.

Pretty much, my life is being held together by Harry Potter and airplane tickets. It's great. I am gonna go see my asthma doctor to try to get my asthma under control. But if I can't...the marathon is gonna have to be put on hold. I will keep ya'll updated.

Happy Running and Happy Breathing!

Week 5...How did I get this far?

Hello bloggers! So today my dad asks me why I haven't been running. He thought I hadn't gotten my miles in this week. Perhaps because I have been so negligent on my blog? It is a possibility. Haha. Well anyways, I did indeed run all of my miles. Well actually, I haven't run my 9 miles but I am tomorrow. This weekend got away from me. And besides, I kinda like the weekend for recovery. And this schedule is flexible, so no judgements! Haha. 


Last weeks runs were AMAZING. Run 5 miles? No big deal. Run 3 miles? Pshhh I can do that in my sleep. I have already been doing this for 5 weeks. I can't believe it. The fact that I can see improvement really helps keep me motivated. I am going to register for a half-marathon for the end of the summer before I go back to school. I feel like it'll be a good stepping stone before the marathon. 


Well everyone, I have to say, I have fallen in love with running. You know why? Running will always be here for me. All I have to do is strap on my shoes and I can go on a run. I can let go of the problems of the world, of my life, of everything that comes crashing down on me. Running has become my outlet. I don't think I can give it up now. I am addicted! 


So here is lesson #2: you can't control what happens to you. People leave you, either by choice, or by tragedy. There is nothing you can do about it. There will be days where the world crashes in around you. But find something and hold onto it. Don't succumb to insecurity or self-doubt. Find something you love and let that heal you. I feel broken today, for many reasons. But I am so grateful that I have found running to help piece myself back together. Between running, great friends, and family, the pieces of my life will always mend back together. I hope all you bloggers find that same comfort. 


Sorry for the change in tone everyone. Just what has been on the brain! Running these many miles gives me WAY too much time to think!


Happy Running! 

Day 18...Run Like You Stole Something

Hello bloggers! Never has the phrase "run like you stole something" seemed more ironic. No, I did not steal anything. My car was broken into last night. Yup, I am an idiot and left my purse in my car. 2 other cars in my neighborhood were broken into, 10 total for my area. Crazy! But what is done is done, so I am just gonna learn my lesson and move on!


So as you can tell readers, today was stressful. I mean, come on, can I catch a break? Haha. So I passed out for 4 hours in the most glorious nap I have taken in awhile and woke up too late to run. I hate to sound paranoid, but tonight, I didn't feel safe running at 10 at night like I did just the other day. And I live in a safe neighborhood/area! Just gotta let the jitters out and it'll be all good.


I am a little nervous about my fundraising. Cause...there has been none so far. I really need help promoting my cause! Help!


Tomorrow I will do my 4 miles from today. I think I just like this schedule better. I am so scared of being injured or having an asthma attack that I don't wanna push it. Looks like this week, I have to work through fear. Be more secure with myself. I am telling ya, this really is a journey!


Happy Running Everyone! And don't forget to bring in all belongings from your car! Peace!

Day 17...Not So Great!

Hello Bloggers. It has been 17 days already! 2 1/2 weeks into this beast! Well everyone...I am officially registered in the Marine Corps Marathon! Wahoo! Now I just need to raise $750 for the Make A Wish foundation and I will be golden! I am going to need all the help I can get, so every dollar counts!


Well, today was a hard run. Not as easy as last nights run. I had my first asthma attack since being home. But it's not a big deal. I was able to finish my 3 miles and then get home and take my medicine before it escalated too far. It is frustrating because I am doing everything I can to control it, but it's never enough. I will work through it. I am committed to this now! I have to keep running. Gotta keep doing my miles.


I also bought a swim suit so that I can do my laps on cross training days! Woo! Moving ahead. Other than running, I am just working and hanging around my family. I saw two of my friends today, so that was way fun! But it's summer, so people go out of town, some of my friends live across the country...some nights, it gets lonely! I am currently waiting to skype Rachel again. Because I miss having her live right down the hall from me! Haha. Pathetic, I know.


I am posting the link for my donation page here on my blog. It would really mean a lot to me if you would donate, even if it is just a dollar. I have seen how the Make A Wish foundation has changed children's lives. They give children what they need most: hope. Please help me help a child! Oh, and help me put that 26.2 bumper sticker on my car!
Donation Page


Happy running! Peace!